Fictional Red Flags Department Tee

Officially open after dark, because that’s when the questionable choices happen. If you’ve ever spotted a red flag and kept reading anyway, congratulations, you’re department management material.

The artwork is a vintage detective-office scene in red, navy, cream, and black: a wooden desk with a lamp, an open book stuck full of little red flags, a mug reading “PLOT TWIST FUEL,” a crescent moon figure, and a file box labeled “QUESTIONABLE CHOICES FILES” holding folders that read “LOVE BOMBING,” “GASLIGHTING,” “MYSTERY MEN,” “COMMITMENT ISSUES,” and “SUSPICIOUSLY PERFECT.” A skull sits in the wastebasket, and sticky notes read “He was charming in chapter one” and “Not all heroes deserve a sequel.” Big collegiate letters across the top read “FICTIONAL RED FLAGS DEPARTMENT,” with “open after dark” along the bottom.

Printed on a Comfort Colors heavyweight tee. Garment-dyed for that perfectly lived-in softness that only gets better with every wash. This is not a thin, scratchy cheap shirt. It’s 100% ring-spun cotton with a relaxed fit that drapes just right. And it’s the kind of shirt you’ll reach for over and over. The garment-dye process gives it that vintage look that only gets better with age.

File it under: coming home with you.